My Pregnancy and Cesarean Birth – What They Don’t Tell You

I’ve never had a natural birth, so I can’t really compare a natural birth to a cesarean… But what I can do is tell you the hidden truth about a c-section from my personal experience.

But before I do, here’s some of back story of my pregnancy.

I REFUSED to believe I was pregnant. Christopher was the one who brought it up because I’d be having bad stomach cramps and I was “late” I’ve NEVER been a typical woman when it can to my cycle due to endometriosis. I could go two months without a period, or have a period that lasted an entire month. Yes, my body hates me!

Well anyway he told me to take a test just to be sure. I, thinking he was absolutely nuts, went to the Dollar Tree and got a test. Yes, I paid $1.00 for a test.

The look of horror on my face the second I realized it was positive. I ran out the door, drove to the closest place, bought 5 of the expensive test, and took every last one. Yupp, he was right. I was pregnant!

Christopher had to call my parents because I was too scared to tell them myself…

Look at our little bitty peanut baby! At the time of this ultra sound, the tech concluded I was about 7 weeks & 3 days along. Based on my menstrual cycle, my ultra sound states 8 weeks & 1 day.

20 Weeks, It’s a Girl!

Up until 20 weeks I’d had the PERFECT pregnancy. No morning sickness (Chris had it though), healthy food cravings, only gained 3 pounds.

Then all hell broke loose. Because I’d been doing so well my doctor didn’t schedule me for an ultrasound at 24 weeks, by the time of my 28 week ultrasound, a problem was discovered.

I had virtually NO amniotic fluid. She wasn’t developing the way she should. She was hardly moving at all. To top that all off, she was breech, and would stay that way without fluid around her to allow her to turn.

From that point on, I was shot up with steroids to boost her lung development because my doctor knew I’d never make it to full term. He estimated she would be anywhere between 3-2 months premature. I was placed on strict bed rest. I had weekly doctor’s appointments, that eventually turned into twice a week.

Fast-forward to February 20th. My baby shower. Yeah, like a moron, I over did it that day and completely ignored the fact that I was on bedrest.

The next day I was hospitalized. She had a weak heartbeat and was not moving. 3 days of being pumped full of fluids & fed special meals because our daughter had IUGR. Intrauterine Growth Restriction. Which as some of you may know, increases the risk for stillbirth.

Because of the increased risk for stillbirth & because our daughter was stuck in a breech position, I was scheduled for a cesarean for March 11th, if I made it to that date.

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There she is! March 11th 2013 at 8:09am

So on the the c-section story!

First off, I need to clarify something, having a c-section does NOT make you any less of a woman. I know for a long time I felt like I was less of a mother because of it.

For some reason I thought because I never experienced the labor pains, the water breaking, or the pushing for hours, that I wasn’t a real mother. (Needless to say, I was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression eventually)

The number one thing I wish someone would have told me before my cesarean. You may not be in pain, but you STILL FEEL EVERYTHING. You feel them cutting you open… You feel them moving things around… You feel them tugging & pulling your child out of you… Imagine the strongest kicks you felt during your pregnancy, then multiply by 1000. It does NOT hurt, it just feels extremely weird. Kind of like going up in an airplane and feeling your stomach drop? I don’t say this to scare you. I say this to prepare you. I thought something was wrong with my anesthesia because I could feel things. Nope. It’s totally normal.

The second thing, the “delivery” room is colder than Antarctica. I’d never been so cold in my life! All I kept thinking is “OMG these doctors are going to freeze to death before they finish this surgery and I’ll have to deliver her myself” I mean seriously, did they think I was giving birth to a polar bear or something? My poor child is going to go into shock coming out of my warm womb and into this freezer box. There is actually a reason the room is so cold. It prevents infection and keeps things sterile.  Hmmmm, who knew?

Third, that little drug cocktail they give you… You won’t remember much of that first day after delivery. I apparently kept passing out in mid-sentence, then waking up only to pick up the conversation right where I left off 30 minutes – 1 hour later. My family found it hilarious. However, I highly recommend staying doped up and not skipping a pain pill, TRUST ME, you’ll regret it.

As for number four, they want you to massage your lower abdomen… Which by the way, hurts like hell after being diced open, pulled apart, and sewn back together. I promise I’m not trying to scare you. Just being honest. Apparently the reason behind this is faster healing for you.

Through all the pain & healing we got a precious baby girl out of it!

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10 thoughts on “My Pregnancy and Cesarean Birth – What They Don’t Tell You

  1. Amazing birth shes a beautiful little miracle. I was terrified of having a c-section myself. I had no reason to think I would need one but the fear was still there. I saw a lot of comments of my doctor online from people who got csections from him and thought it was weird and the thought kept lingering. When it came time to give birth things went very smooth and I didnt even know I was in labor! At my check up when my doc told me I was I totally thought he was joking lol! So I was very lucky and only felt the pain of my contractions at the end for 1.5 hours. Anyways when I was pushing I stopped feeling my contractions and he told me I was missing them. I panicked and got really scared I was going to have a csection and pushed so hard my ear bled and I tore really bad (which I was trying to avoid) and came very close to passing out. My fears were probably irrational but I just got really scared for just a second!
    I struggled a lot with my milk and it never did come on all the way. I tried taking these meds prescribed by my doctor to increase it but after I had only 2 doses I began to have horrible thoughts and crying historically. I read online that this could be a side effect so I knew right away to stop taking it. I never felt like that again. So while I didnt have ppd I feel like I got a taste of what its like and it made me realize better what people with ppd are going through.
    Congrats on getting through a tough pregnancy and ppd you are very strong and from what I can tell an awesome mom!

    • So let me try this… Again.

      Breastfeeding – I could literally go on for hours but I’ll try and give you the short version.

      The first 3 months was fine after the initial first week of waiting on my milk to actually come in fully. Then, it was like a ticking time bomb. My suppy started to rapidly decrease. Within a week after she turned 3 months old my milk was gone. COMPLETELY GONE! I saw my OB, I saw a lactation consultant, I drank a gallon or more of water a day, I ate my weight in oatmeal, I drank 3 cups of mother’s milk tea a day, I tried fenugreek & numerous other meds and herbal remedies to boost my supply. Nothing helped.So I totally understand where you are coming from. At that point I was already having depression issues because of how I felt about her actual birth due to the cesarean. Losing my suppy is what sent me over the edge.

      PPD – First and foremost, I refused to believe I was suffering from post partum. I didn’t understand how I could be holding a beautiful baby whom I loved unconditionally and be depressed.

      It started almost immediately. That very first day I’d look at her and I didn’t believe she was really there. Like she wasn’t real. It’s one of the hardest feelings to describe. I kept dwelling on the fact that she had just been in my belly and in a total of five minutes, she was cut out of me, I felt as though I’d done nothing to bring her into the world and already felt like a failure. Fast forward a few days…

      On hard days when she was upset of course I would be upset because she was my baby and I couldn’t comfort her.

      Then my hormones just completely spun out of control. I because a “Psychotic raging bitch” My families words, from my brother, to my boyfriend, to my mother. I was a hot mess.

      I’d have panic and anxiety attacks 2-3 times a day. I didn’t leave my apartment for a solid 3 months.I was terrified to walk out my door.

      And then I lost my milk. I was devastatd. It sent me over the edge. I lost enjoyment in everything. I never wanted to get out of my bed. At this point I was still trying to deny I was suffering from PPD.

      Fastfoward another 2 months, I started having extreme stomach issues. I finally went to see a doctor thinking something during my cesarean went wrong. Within 3 minutes of that doctor talking to me, and I mean 3 minutes literally, he could tell I was suffering from PPD. I’d ignored amd denied it for so long my body was physically reacting to how I was feeling causing my stomach issues. Within a week of taking the medication I was almost completely back to myself.

      I’m still on these meds for anxiety and depression. I tried weening off last week and my hormones hit the fan.

      • Well I know it will get better in time! You seem like your doing really great! Breastfeeding was the hardest thing for me. I am very hard headed and stuck with it for 10 months even though I could never make more than 7-8 oz a day which was a bottle a day. I just kept telling myself at least its something. I tried all the things you mentioned too and the only thing that helped bring it from 2 oz a day to 7 oz was domperidone. And it gave me no side effects thank goodness. I thought breastfeeding was going to be so natural and had no thought in my mind about not doing it. I had a very rude awakening. Ive had a few break downs about losing my best friend of 11 years to a drug problem. We dont even talk anymore and I still cry about it every few months. I thought she was going to be a big part of my babies life only to find out that it would take her 6 months to meet my baby. I havnt seen her since…
        Well I am glad you got help and your feeling better. I can only imagine how stressful that was for you. But I bet it has made you an even stonger mom!

      • Girl, domperidone didn’t even help me! I was NEVER able to produce more than an ounce and a half if I was even that lucky. She could nurse on each breast for an hour and still scream because she was hungry.

        And I feel ya in the friend thing too. My “bestfriend” has only seen her twice. Preston can tell you how insane that is. We’ve always been inseparable from 8 years old. Now we hardly speak. I actually talk to and see her parents more than her.

      • And thank you. I believe it all happens for a reason. You live and you learn. I love her more than anything and will always do whats best for her.

      • The first 3 months was also hard for me too because on top of my breastfeeding probs my baby had bad reflux and milk upset her stomache. She could lay on her back without being elevated. So she just ended up sleeping on top of me. She still does to thus day. A part of me wants to be comfy again lol but I know I will miss it. But she pretty much cried the majority of the first 3 months until her reflux corrected itself.

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